The hard part about writing for me is that I want to do it all the time. ALL the time. I could be doing dishes, in the middle of a conversation, driving to pick up dinner, writing code, or any number of things that, during which, I am either physically or socially prohibited from dropping everything to commit my thoughts to text. And yet, despite the obvious, my brain will start composing a piece all on its own. Before I can think a big "WHOA, hold up there!", I've got an intro, some strong sentence structure, excellent vocab choice, and everything else that feels like magic when it arrives through your fingertips at a keyboard, instead cruising around my skull with no brakes. So what do you do with all that goodness when you can't do much besides let it all drift right back apart like the morning fog clearing? Honestly, not much. And it feels like a waste of this brain.

Thankfully, having an outlet (specifically this whether it's a blog, a newsletter, or something else) helps me see an opening, even if it's down the road, for getting something down. But at the same time, I struggle with the thought of How much is too much writing? I feel the urge to write a thing, not just for a personal journal or quick caption, but a piece to publish for the world to read every single day. No really: every damn day. That's great, right? Seth Godin, whose rants and teachings I find incredibly valuable, is an advocate of writing every day. So there's some established support I can lean on. At the same time, I wonder: Isn't writing daily excessive? Is it an act of self-centeredness and my-own-horn tooting? Does doing this thing that scratches a big, giant itch for myself, end up a cringy moment for my friends, loved ones, and future audience members who see each new post and think, "Maybe she should simmer down a bit with all her words." I don't know yet.

So yeah, I'm trying to figure out how frequently to do this. And what to put here vs. anywhere else (including my other blog which is 100% dedicated to dreamy memoir pieces). In the meantime, I do want to keep myself to a weekly roundup of what's tickling my fancy and attracting my interest. This week, I'm:

• WATCHING: Just finished Drive To Survive season 3 in time to start the 2021 Formula 1 season. Any weekend that there's a race, you'll for sure catch me watching qualifying and the race itself. Zoom zoom!
• READING: This piece about Indigenous identity and whether you keystone your own identity based on the present day and humans you know, or if it's based on tethering to stories from the past. "When someone whose only claim to Indigeneity is through family lore, they take up spaces, and often funding, meant for Indigenous people. This is the harm. These claims to Indigeneity, no matter how real they feel to the people involved, take opportunities meant for Indigenous people." After reading it, I found myself an inch closer to my own identity which, though fully anchored in the present with my family, tribe, and reservation, I have struggled with because I didn't move to the reservation until I was 12 (and then, only under incredibly challenging circumstances). What will it take for me to feel "Native enough"? That's a whole other topic that I'm ruminating on now, and hope to write more about soon.
• WRITING: Social media and what it means to participate in it as a grown woman, who loves making and seeing pretty pictures, but also wants to connect on a deeper level with humans and humanity in a way that reflects the realities of our 2021 world. Not a heady topic at all! Seeing the grim truths of 2020 juxtaposed with accounts (especially on Instagram) that kept their content shallow (or worse, left the imagery the same as ever, but scaffolded by a woke caption... #eyeroll) left me with a pit in my stomach. I had to take a break from it all both to process my own life events, and also to just stand back and observe what in the world was going on. Those thoughts, coming soon.
• LISTENING TO: Lots of news and economics podcasts (Planet Money, The Indicator, Recode Daily, Axios Today, The Daily), and if I need to get some work done, pink noise. I'm in a bit of a music desert now, but seeking musical dessert. Share if you've got something good.
• MAKING/DIY-ING: Making over my front deck. She's been powerwashed, and is now being painted a glorious dark charcoal. Once the painting is done, I'll take a step back and see what needs doing next: paint the front door? Replace the lights? Add seating + more planters? We shall see!
• LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR: Lunch with a dear friend and former co-worker at the ever-lovely and delicious Better Half ❤️
• AIP RE-INTRO STAGE: Currently trying soy. Rice is back in the mix, so if I can make friends again with soy, then the world of Asian foods will open back up to me... (please, let it be so!)

✌🏼

This piece was originally published on my Hey World blog on the indicated publication date.